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If you know Ace even the slightest little bit, you would know that if you found him sitting still for longer than 0.163 seconds with his eyes open and the TV not on Noggin, that something is seriously wrong!

Well that was the scene when I arrived home from work a few nights ago.  Momma called during the day and said that Ace wasn’t feeling good, but I figured it was like any of the other numerous times he was sick.  Usually he still runs around like the Energizer Bunny with snot running from his nose only stopping when it is time to eat or sleep, or both.

I walked in the door and Ace was lying on the couch by himself.  Just lying there like he was paralyzed from the neck down.  He turned his head to see who walked in the door.  When he saw it was me, there was no smile.  There was no running across the room to greet me.  Nothing!  Just a look of exhaustion…

When his normal bed time came around, we tried and tried to get him to go to sleep, but all of our normal tactics were deemed useless.  The sickness was beating all of us! Finally after an hour or so Ace fell asleep on my chest and remained there for most of the rest of the night until Momma put him in his bed in the early morning.

Momma calls me the next day at work and needs me to take Ace to the doctor.  Things aren’t getting better and she has a doctor’s appointment herself on the other side of town.

So I picked up Ace and off to the pediatrician I went.  Even though Ace was feeling like crap he still managed to flirt with the nurses at the doctors office.  He was just lounging there in my arm when the nurse walked up to the reception desk to greet me Ace.

Of course, he perked up, pulled out a big smile, and hypnotized her with his blue eyes.  They “talked” for a few minutes before the older grumpier receptionist asked told me to have seat.

I grabbed a few magazines from the stack and was flipping through the pages to keep Ace entertained, but my reading kept getting interrupted by the little old lady sitting across from me… farting and burping!

She was talking away with her friend and would fart mid-sentence (Phhhhtttt!!!) without even losing her train of thought!  I’m not talking about a little squeaky fart…I’m talking about a day after drinking 12 beers and eating 24 hot wings kinda fart!  I’m not sure if she didn’t know she was farting or she didn’t care, but it sure did echo in that quiet waiting room!  I’m just glad I didn’t catch a whiff or the doctor would have been treating me for nausea for sure!

Our name was finally called and we sprinted back and took a seat in room #4 before we passed out from methane inhalation.  The doctor lady performed the normal checks…temperature, heart, lungs.  All look OK until she checks his ears.

I hear her say something like, “Little man you gotta start letting go of that ear wax!”

She grabs the smallest pair of tweezers I have ever seen and goes in to pull it out.  While digging around in his ear she says to Ace, “I bet Daddy is going to be shocked at how much ear wax you have in here.”

Now seriously how shocking could it be?  You ever looked at a 1yr old’s ear hole?  It’s tiny!  I figured a few small globs of ear wax.  Maybe something I would see on a Q-Tip after being pulled from my ear.  My ears are probably 5 times bigger than his so a man sized chunk of ear wax would be considered a lot of ear wax for a little guy, right?

Wrong!  What I saw literally made my jaw drop.  I’m talking about a chunk of ear wax about a 1/2 inch long and a bit smaller round than a pencil!

She takes another peek in his ear…there is more!  She goes digging a few more times and pulls out more ear wax every single time!  All in all if it wouldn’t have broken apart it was probably an inch long. (And I thought Ace had been ignoring me when he wouldn’t respond to me at home…the little guy was probably couldn’t hear a lick) 

His ailment was diagnosed as an ear infection (jeez, imagine that!) and antibiotics were prescribed.  She says there is nothing we can do to prevent the build up of ear wax.  It just happens in some kids and they will eventually out grow it, or their ear canals will rupture from an excess build up of wax.  (OK,  I made that last part up)

Before leaving the room she warns me… “Oh yeah.  If his poop turns a brick red color there is no need to worry.  It’s just the medicine.”

It’s a good thing she told me that piece of important information!  I’m pretty sure red poop requires an immediate emergency room visit in any other imaginable circumstances. :D  If you know of a situation where it doesn’t please let me know…just incase…you never know…

Photos by: http://flickr.com/photos/nickstarr/ and http://flickr.com/photos/fuse/

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Vacation! It’s coming soon!

Do you know the last time we went on a real vacation? A real getaway? Me neither.

In a few weeks we are going to pack 900 pounds of stuff into the back of Momma’s truck, and guess what…it is all Ace’s!

Seriously, how can such a little guy require so much stuff? The list of stuff to pack is 3 or 4 pages long!

Anyways, if we manage to successfully drive the overloaded vehicle (at what point are you required to stop at the weigh stations with the semis?) halfway across the country, we are going to be in for some good fun in the sun!

So you are probably imagining a beach somewhere,  South Carolina? Florida? Nope, and nope…Iowa!  Yes, I said it…Iowa!

Seriously! We are driving to Iowa to visit some old friends, and we are staying at one of those hotels that have the indoor water park! I’m excited! (I’m really a 12 year old in a…man I hate to say it…almost 30 year old’s body)

Not only do they have an indoor water park, the hotel is located on a lake for some outdoor water fun as well!

I’m so excited!

Even though all of this puts a big smile on my face there is one thing about the trip that I’m sure will make me cry big crocodile tears…

I think I cried 23.743 gallons after filling up my truck.

I plan on taking a record number of pictures on our road trip, as long as I remember the camera (and we don’t have to pawn it off to pay for gas to make it all the way home) .  I should have some good shots to show all of ya’s .

Oh yeah!  If the weather cooperates, Ace will be visiting the zoo for the first time this weekend!  Please don’t rain!

This summer is going to be sooo much fun!

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Okay so like the rest of you I’m hooked on xbox4nappyrash and his struggle to conceive a baby.  Apparently this is pretty common, at least in our house it is!  In case most of you forgot, or didn’t pay attention, we started “not trying” back in September 07.  Well here it is, May 08 and still nothing.  I got a little excited (I know I shouldn’t have) but when the old friend was 12 days late I let myself do it.  And look what happened, she arrived on Friday!!!  I hate it, and keep wishing it gone.

So here’s the deal, I went to the doctor last Tuesday to see what the hell was going or not going on. My doctor (love him!) was keeping his fingers crossed that a blood test would come back positive even  though two hpt’s were both negative.  So the news comes on Friday morning with the friend and no kidding, it’s a negative!  Then some lovely news to go with, my thyroid is jacked up!  My T3 and T4 levels are “way out of whack” according to the nurse and a follow up visit is required.  Not only required but mandatory. 

Let me give you the back story on the old thyroid.  After Ace was born, my thyroid swelled and my T3 and T4 levels went crazy, but this is “common” I’m told, after childbirth.  It’s called plain and simple, inflammation of the thyroid gland.  This is caused by my own immune system basically attacking my thyroid gland.  It is causing my levels to go sky high and then drop, and because of this, I cannot be diagnosed either hypo or hyperthyroid.  So when Ace was about 4 months old I started going to see a really great endocrinologist, one of the best in Columbus.  Here’s how that went:

Visit #1: Draw some blood, feel my throat, tell me things don’t appear to be that bad. (Leaving me with the hope that my PCP is just checking all the bases; my initial complaint was for dizziness and lightheadedness.) Follow up phone call: Ms H, your levels are not right, you must go see this specialist.

Visit #2: Draw some blood, go to the hospital for a scan.  The scan consisted of taking radioactive iodine laying on this bed and taking pictures of my thyroid to check for any abnormal growth.  Follow up phone call: Ms H, your levels are different than last time, but in the opposite direction, oh yeah and your thyroid is very enlarged, does this effect your swallow pattern? (Well now that you mention it, yes it does!)  You see, the average size of a thyroid gland is about as big as a guitar pick, mine on the other hand covers the entire front of my throat from left to right and top to bottom, this is problematic.

Visit #3: Draw some blood, go to the specialist again for an ultrasound of my thyroid gland to check for goiters and tumors.  Follow up phone call: Ms H, no goiters or tumors were found, just a very large gland, but we’ll continue to do blood work to figure out the next step.

Visit#4: Draw blood

Visit #5: Draw blood

Visit #6: Draw blood

Okay so all this happened over a period of 9 weeks, and what were the results, nothing, every-time they check my levels they are different and no where close to creating a pattern.  So the endocrinologist suggests drawing blood every 3 weeks indefinitely until they can decided what to do.  What momma suggested was to stop going to the doctor.  So this puts us at the end of September.  What does this have to do with getting pregnant?  Obviously everything!  My crazy thyroid is causing me to have very irregular cycles and from the home ovulation kits I’ve used, (2 months worth) it’s keeping me from ovulating.  No egg, no baby.  What now!  Well I have another doctor appointment on Monday, during which I will suggest just removing my gland (we’ll see how that goes over) and then I suppose I just sit and wait, what choice do I have!

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So, I’m pretty sure Momma is going to kill me! Why? Because, I have a weakness for FREE stuff. Especially free stuff with wheels and an engine.

In the past year I have acquired an 87 Chevy Blazer, a 77 Honda motorcycle, and 4 old push mowers that I didn’t pay a penny for. The free “junk” is piling up behind our shed at amazing rates! (If I don’t stop bringing home so called “junk”..I may just be found mangled in the “junk pile” behind our shed. )

Guess what…none of the free “junk” ran when I got them. (and most of them still don’t…but they will).

My most recent score was a 1970’s something model John Deere 56 riding lawn mower…yes…for FREE! I found it on Craigslist and was all excited! I am tired of push mowing our yard. I knew it didn’t run, but I know that almost anything can be fixed. I was really looking forward to kicking back, with no shirt, catching some rays, with a beer in one hand, and the steering wheel in the other as grass clipping flew all over the place.

So I picked it up and brought it home, but guess what…not only did it not run, but it had no mowing deck. That means no blades. That means it is not mowing crap

Momma asked, “What the hell are you going to do with it if you can’t mow with it?”

Well, a few weekends ago I managed to get it started and actually move under it’s own power. Amazing huh? While most people would have taken this old worthless pile of junk to the dump for a proper burial, I found a good use.

Quit snickering at my oh so cool camo hat and good jeans!

Now I just look forward to kicking back, with no shirt, catching some rays, with Ace in one hand, and the steering wheel in the other as we zoom around the backyard dodging the land mines and annoying the neighbors with the rumble of a 6 horsepower engine running beneath our seat!

Screw mowing…let’s just ride!

By the way…I just realized that if I do things right, you can click on the picture and actually comment on the picture alone. Expect all pictures on DadThing to be like this for now on.

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We all have what I call our “early memories”. The ones from our early childhood that we will never forget.  What are some of mine?

• Climbing a fence because a snake chased me up there.  I yelled for my Mom until she came out of the house and chopped the snake up with a shovel!  She saved my life!  She was my hero!
• My parents owned a junk-yard when I was very little.  I remember watching my Dad working on cars all day every day.  I wanted to do my part, so I would go around to some of the cars and take off the valve stem caps (ya know the little black caps where you put air in your tires).  Then I would have to put them all back on different cars. (A 2-3 yr old’s form of customization)
• Sitting on my Dad’s lap while he operated the crane at the junk yard.  I faintly remember watching the wrecking ball come crashing down and crushing the cars.  I have always liked demolition…
• Riding in a race car.  My Dad used to build and drive race cars.  I remember riding around the track during warm up laps with his friend. (Of course he didn’t fly around the track at full speed, but to a 2 or 3 year old it was an unforgettable experience!)
• Riding in my Dad’s “Stinky Truck”.  My Dad was a big hunter/trapper.  And along with the hunting and trapping came all sorts of stinky things.  Dead animals, blood, guts, urine, feces, and bait.  His “stinky truck”  was rank!  I will never forget the smell of that thing.
• Seeing my brother fall into the 8 ft end of the pool underneath the solar cover.  Neither of us could swim yet, so I was scared to jump in after him.  I could just see him sitting there at the bottom of the pool not knowing what to do.  My grandma came running up and she couldn’t swim either.  We both just sat there helplessly as my brother slowly floated back to the top and my grandma could pull him out.  Luckily he was OK…just a little cold.

Thinking about things like this make me wonder what Ace’s “early memories” will be?  Will having me catch him inches from the floor be one?   How about the scary car wash?  Maybe his first birthday party?

Who knows if he will remember any of that stuff, but I know I will!  I’ll just keep on doing my best to provide him with fun experiences that hopefully someday will be included in his list of “early memories”.

What were your “early memories”?

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